Operation: Win Sakura's Heart Back
by xxIcyAngelxx
Summary: Mission: Seduce the future Uchiha Sakura's heart back after his years of absence-Uchiha Style. With help from Naruto and Kakashi, it's gonna be chaotic. 3rd Attempt:In how Sasuke gets rid of the men around Sakura. Rule 6: Do not interfere!
1. Flowers is the way to go

Disclaimer: We all know that Naruto isn't ours!

**Author Notes:** Coincidentally, this idea just popped to my head when a group of me and my friends were laughing just randomly, just anything will make us laugh harder. Yes, it was one of those rare times where anything is funny, and then this idea came. I think there are types like this done, I'm not sure, but I wanted to try out how it would feel like.** If this is to any dislike or thinks I'm copying (in which I'm not and don't know) and request me to take this down, then I will gladly take this down.** I've moved onto another fabolous anime, anyways. REMEMBER: This is just something I wanted to try, I'm a bit reluctant, however. Erhm, depending on the chapters, not this chapter though, there will be some sexual suggestions and cursing on later chapters. But this chapter is Rated T (because of language). Please don't take the impression of my hating Naruto, I love him very much, but he's the only one who can pull off any funny stunts! It's his nature!

**Summary:** Mission: Seduce the future Uchiha Sakura's heart back after his years of absence...Uchiha style! With help from Naruto and Kakashi, it's bound to be hilariously chaotic .First Attempt: Give Sakura Flowers. Rule # 1 - Never let Naruto choose what flower to give Sakura!

Enjoy.

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Chapter 1 – Operation: Seduce the Future Sakura Uchiha's Heart

IS A GO

Rule # 1 - Never let Naruto _choose_ what flower to give Sakura

Rule # 2 .- Girls like Flowers that matches them.

**First Attempt:** Approach Sakura and give Sakura flowers and have a small chat. (In this case, keep Sakura interested by letting her talk about anything she favors)

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Uchiha's do not let emotions show.

Uchiha's aren't really a romantic at heart unless alone with their spouse.

Uchiha's don't do any romantic gestures unless men ogle at their woman and is threatened

Not that there is anything to be _threatened of_. All Uchiha's inherit to-die-for sexy looks.

Uchiha's—

Screw it. Here stands Uchiha Sasuke, the last of his line, _holding flowers_. Normally, he wouldn't be holding flowers…however…

He sighed, ran a hand through his black, spiky tresses.

_If it's for the girl he likes, he will swallow his pride for her._

"…Dobe."

"Yes, Sasuke-teme?"

"Who the hell gave you the idea of giving Sakura flowers?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Duh! It's, like, one of the obvious methods to catch the girl! In this case, Sakura-chan is like a cherry blossom. Hello, girls like things that they can relate to! And besides –"

And for some unfathomable reason— Sasuke thought this was rather cliché. If he were to list the reasons of choosing Sakura, not that he'd admit anything, of course, his top three were probably:

Sakura is independent _(she slaps hands that offer to help when she falls onto the ground--unless female and friends)_

Powerful _(he had a broken jaw to prove it once he fought against her)_ and trained under the Hokage.

She knows how to take care of herself when it comes to men. _(Usually hears a resounding slap from afar followed by a small explosion of rocks)_

He always thought she was unique type of being approached.

"And I've been around Sakura-chan for most of the time and closer to her than _any_—"

Glare.

"Err, of course, not close to her that way. She has Ino by her side!"

Nod.

'_Oh, score one for Uzumaki Naruto for diverting the situation!'_ He grinned giddily to himself.

The Uchiha rolled his eyes and scanned the green hills for his female companion. He knew how Sakura would like spending her time with nature. She'd always be resting against the tree after training somewhere around there…then his sharp eyes narrowed caught sight of her...

…with a Hyuuga. Neji Hyuuga.

"…Oh fucking, hell no! I don't want my death to be caused by an accident by a Uchiha and Hyuuga for a girl! If I die, I'd want Hinata-chan to have all my ramen stocks in memory—"

He had to admit, the Hyuuga's were always powerful, just always second to the Uchiha's.

Black orbs narrowed into slits when white eyes smugly smirked at him.

He crushed the flowers in his one hand.

"It took me _forever_ to climb those stingy trees with those damn killer squirrels that ripped my clothes to get those flowers-!"

Oh, this is now personal.

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Rule # 3 – Never, ever, go after what an Uchiha wants.

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Only the Hyuuga's were capable of having an almost standard par with an Uchiha.

Except when it came to love. That was another matter.

Sasuke's thoughts were distracted when he heard laughing.

"Ehehehehehehe, Sasuke bastard just got upstaged by a simple chat by Neji-!"

He drove his leg backwards and aimed precisely between Naruto's legs.

_Immature, maybe, but works like a charm._

The blonde's hands immediately went towards his precious jewels. Gritting his teeth, "_Oh!_ Fucking…jealous bastard…"

He arrogantly smirked at his distress when Naruto double-over, his face scrunched up in thought of ways of killing a Hyuuga and Uchiha in one go and his lips puckered inwards to his mouth, letting out a girlish grunt and crumbled to the ground.

Hmph, serves dead-last right.

Never provoke an Uchiha.

He set his eyes back to Sakura, admiring the way her face glowed when she laughed melodically. The way she tucked a loose pink strand from her face with her small, yet dangerous, hands.

Now if only that was directed towards him.

He looked down, a fierce glare towards the blonde when Naruto started giggling like a school girl, his hands still clutching his almost broken honor, at his failure before he even approached her. Sasuke rolled his eyes before grinning maliciously at him.

'_Oh no... Sasuke bastard never smiles like that! Is this what I get?! Helping Sasuke-teme to get Sakura-chan's heart?! Helping Hinata-chan with her training? Accidentally hanging Akamaru over a pit of crocodiles for eating all my ramen? Blowing up part of the Hokage's tower just because Kiba was chasing me of harming his excuse-of-a-furball-' _

"Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu!"

'_Oh crap!'_

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Satisfied for letting out a bit of his anger, Sasuke let out a deep breath. With a new set of determination, the raven-haired carefully planned of how to get rid of Hyuuga by her side. He'd do it physically if it weren't for Sakura's gentle nature _((sometimes))_ against violence when it comes to her.

Something to distract him.

Something that's important to a Hyuuga…

He looked down at the very dark, orangeish color skin, spiky burnt crisps of hair. Sasuke took a few steps forward, accidentally stepping over his fingers—

"_Fucking jackass! My fingers-!"_

_**Crack, crack, crack!!**_

_"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"_

---someone precious to the elite family.

Sasuke focused his dark orbs where Sakura carefully used her soft hands to outline the bark of a tree, she admired while her mouth spoke in soft tones, her eyes half-lidded when she concentrated on one of her favorite hobbies..

Her emerald eyes caught his.

She gave him a genuine smile and small wave. He nodded in acknowledgement.

He hastily turned away, grabbing the back of the weeping blonde's collar and dragged him away. The determined, teenager Sasuke missed her confused gaze.

* * *

"I've always admired nature. It's such a shame that they are taking down trees for expanding Konoha. Tsunade-sama is against it, of course, and is having a meeting that if they are going to expand Konoha, then we will be more vulnerable with such a vast land. And how about training grounds, right Neji-san?" 

"Ah."

She grinned, looking up at the falling leaves and sighed, "I wonder if we'll be able to go to another mission, soon. It's getting kind of tiring just training-"

Neji always paid attention to the pink-haired beauty. He only approached her because he was silently observing her from afar. Now was a perfect oppurtunaity to-

Wait.

His silver eyes caught something.

Is that the dead-last _((who looked like he visited the sun))_ flirting with a red-faced Hinata-sama?

"Hey, isn't that Naruto and Hinata? Aww! Isn't that sweet? At last, Naruto finally noticed-"

He got up.

"Excuse me, Sakura-san. I must go attend an engagement."

Confused, she nodded.

She laughed when Naruto finally caught sight of the fuming Hyuuga and made mad dash, limping slightly, away with Neji hot on his heels.

Sakura frowned slightly.

'_I thought it was a good thing for Hinata.'_

**_Crunch_**

Her back tensed then slowly relaxed when a familiar scent hit her nose. She turned, a bit confused at his blank gaze directed to her, "Sasuke-kun. How nice seeing you here."

Sasuke nodded, staring at her a bit before sitting on the ground in front of her. It had been awkward because she had been obviously avoiding him ever since his return...she cleared her throat.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. Did you just see Neji-san going after Naruto? I'm a bit worried for him…" she thought for a while "Naruto looked…like he got a deep tan in such a short amount of time…"

Smirk.

"I hope he's alright…"

Shrug.

She squirmed a bit.

He was studying her.

Sakura was about open her mouth when he stood.

She raised one elegant eyebrow when he reached towards a tree and plucked a small flower."Sasuke-kun?"

He looked straight at her eyes before turning away, his hand outstretched with a simple white flower presented to her. Sakura smiled brightly, flattered, "Oh, Sasuke-kun! Thank you! You know when I get flowers, it's usually cherry blossoms because it supposedly matches me. It's a bit sweet, but I think it's cliché, because, honestly-"

Sasuke smugly smirked and leaned back as she talked away.

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From afar, Naruto grinned. It was worth getting burned, his beautiful blonde hair spikes were slightly cut, his fingers crooked, his prized possesion in danger of being extinct and getting chased by Hyuuga was all worthwhile watching Sakura beaming.

And he had the extra laughs for watching Sasuke trying hard. And it was only the beginning!

_"Hakke Kusho!"_ _(Eight Trigrams Empty Palm!)_

Oh crap.

"Have mercy, Hyuuga!"

On the other hand, maybe not.

00000000000000000000000

First Step: Complete

Success Rate: Satisfactory. _(She smiled, happy of his simple flower given to her.) _

Progress: Just begun.

((Scratch Rule # 2))

00000000000000000000000

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This story is gonna be drabbles of Sasuke, in funny ways with the Konoha guys, especially Naruto, help Sasuke. At least, try to. If there are any suggestions feel free to tell me through your reviews!**

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Second Attempt: Dress to Impress.**

**Rule # 4 - Keep safety lock on closet.**

"_Asshole…what did you do to my clothes?"  
_

"_Ohohohoho, Sasuke-bastard! This is revenge!"_

"_Yo, my old students-"_

"_Old man, you fool people with your 30 year old look when you're_ actually_-!"_

"_Hey_, _I beg to differ when I'm actually…!" -_glance-_ "Oh dear, Sasu-chan. That is a very ghastly…attire. Are you going to try to impress Sakura like that?"_


	2. Dress to Impress

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Disclaimer: Naruto rightly belongs NOT to us but to its original creater

**Disclaimer**: Naruto rightly belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

**Author's note**: Thanks to those lot who read and kindly reviewed! I've been told that this story is rather cute, looking back; I guess the writing style is cute. Um, yes, I'm trying out a different writing. Sorry if some want more detailed. Anyways, this story is a trial, I won't be deleting it, but it could take time before I update. Please review after the end of the chapter if you liked it, it encourages me to write more! The more, the faster update! But I honestly don't mind even if people don't, as long as they read, I'm content. The suggestion box is still open if you people have any ideas!

Enjoy

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Chapter 2 – Dress to Impress

Awful start of the day.

Rule # 4 – Keep Safety lock on closet.

Second Attempt: (Summarized By Naruto) Sakura-chan always liked her men in light and/or dark outfits.

_(But as revenge for the first attempt, Naruto changed his tactic ways)_

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Chirp, chirp, chirp!!

Argh.

Onyx eyes lazily opened.

Another day meant another attempt to woo _her_ heart. He sighed.

It was rather ironic, the situation, that this time he was the one following her. He would've spent his days training if it wasn't so serious.

Sasuke rolled over his side when he was greeted with an eye-sore.

An orange/black blubber_, ((who tried to look hidden)),_ crouched over to his closet door, giggling impishly.

…_Nice way to look concealed…_

The Uchiha sighed in exasperation, quickly grabbing a kunai and aim where his line of vision could only see which was Naruto's –

"AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He gracefully rolled out of bed, stepping over the rolling body that was tightly clutching his kunai that proudly stood up from his behind.

"I _knew_ I should have worn a metal protection back there as well!"

Annoying idiot.

And it was the morning as well.

"Hey, bastard. Is that a way to greet your best friend?"

Ignore.

The 18-year old Uchiha casually strolled into his domain, pouring himself tea before making his way to his closet.

He tried to pry it open.

_**Jingle, jingle, jingle!**_

Sasuke frowned.

He tried again.

_**Jingle, jingle, jingle!**_

Dead-set line formed on his lips.

"_Ehehehehehehe!"_

Glare.

One of these days… Uchiha will torture the girlish Uzumaki just so his octaves would go low _for once_ before turning back into his normal high squeak permanently…

"_Ehehehehehehe!"_

That day would be soon.

"Asshole…what did you do to my clothes?"

"Ohohohoho, Sasuke-bastard. This is revenge!"

"…"

"I was almost drowned by the alligator after dealing with Hyuuga!"

"…"

"Well, you see. There's this crazy animal lover still seemed to be a bit angry at me and decided to help Hyuuga steer me in the direction of where I hung his _lovely_ furball."

"Too bad he failed."

Naruto grinned cheekily, "Whatever bastard, for the next 24 hours, you'll have to go looking the way _Sakura_ _hates_ the way men dress!"

He didn't like the sound of that.

Uchiha's, frankly, don't care how they dress.

As long as the Uchiha symbol fan was proudly sewn at the back, he'd still look desirable.

Sasuke didn't really bother, as long as bothersome people would keep away.

However…

"…_looking the way Sakura hates the way men dress!"_

_... _That was a problem.

Maybe something little as that won't upset her?

Sasuke shook his head. It was Sakura, he was thinking about and she is a girl. Apparently whatever was in store, she would not like it. He cringed at the mental image of her turning away from him.

He calmly turned towards his closet door and kicked with little effort.

It was empty.

"…Dobe."

Snicker.

"I knew you would do that! That's why I transferred all your clothes into a safe hiding place!

Scowl.

His eyes bled red.

"Err…I did save ONE outfit for you."

He glowered, his Sharingan still spinning when he walked into his large closet space and nearly sent a chidori up that dead-last's ass if he hadn't fled.

Not that outfit.

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Uchiha's are used to be the center of attention.

Sasuke grew up with people looking at him as his role-model.

Who wouldn't?

He had the body of a Greek God, moved with elegance of a panther and his presence had an air of arrogance yet superiority.

They knew it was all true.

But now…this one day after his returns a few days ago… some glared, some swooned and others just collapsed at the sight of him.

'_I am going to kill that dobe.'_

It was the same line repeating in his head to keep from lashing out.

His muscled body was exposed by a white haori that loosely hung from his arms. Tied around his waist was a thick, rough purple wrap that secured another layer of black cloth with loose black pants from his thighs that then tightened to his ankles.

That

Bastard

Orochimaru.

Making him look like a fucking ballerina with that God-knows-what thick, rough lumpy purple sash…

'_I am going to kill that dobe, I am going to kill that dobe, I am going to kill that dobe, I am going to kill that dobe, I am going to kill that dobe, I am going to kill tha-'_

"Sasuke-kun?"

'_Fuck.'_

He didn't bother to turn around.

Sasuke heard her small gasp and…a small laugh?

Uchiha's do _not_ get laughed at.

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Rule # 5 – Anyone who insults the Uchiha's would die a very painful death.

Exception: If it's the girl of his dreams, then ignore this rule.

However: Naruto would apply to this rule.

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When she finally walked in front of him, one of her eyebrow was raised with a humorous smile. He didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

Good thing: She didn't look away in disgust or glare.

Bad thing: Sakura just plainly laughed at him.

Answer.

_Kill the dead-last._

"Sasuke-kun…lovely morning, isn't it?"

Oh, now that just made it worst.

Her eyes were clearly not talking about that, instead those charming green irises took in his form. She had crossed her arms, amused at his scowling face. Sakura's eyes danced with mirth, wearing a slighter shorter, he noticed, skirt than all her others. He frowned, glaring at some who dared look higher than her knees. "You clearly woke up at the wrong side of the bed today, Sasuke-kun."

'_I did.'_

She laughed at his face suddenly turned blank, silently answering her question. Despite her laughter at him, Sasuke found it as a pleasant melody. Her eyes then took time to observe him, "New attire?" It was the same attire he wore when he fought against Konoha; it made him a bit uncomfortable. Sakura might not like bad memories back especially since he was trying to win her affection…

Sakura remembered what he wore, it always looked funny but the situation was so serious she didn't dare to. Her eyes followed the outline of his clothing, the loose, white long-sleeved haori that proudly displayed his toned muscles, in which she took time to look at silently before her orbs looked at the rest of the clothing from the waist down-

"Ahhahahahahaha!"

That was just insulting.

"S-Sa-Sasuke-k-kun, w-why do you-" – _laugh_ – "l-look like-"

Wait a minute.

She stopped. He raised an eyebrow.

Is that _purple_ he was wearing?

Oh, yes he was.

She suddenly glared; he was wearing a part of Ino's color.

Sakura did not like the color purple. Sure, they are best friends and both moved on…but she still didn't like purple.

It reminded her of the crazy, gay bastard who broke her team apart.

And he was wearing it.

Without another word, she walked away.

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_**Poof!**_

"Ehehehe, bastard! Sakura-chan laughed at you!"

Hmmm, he's here now.

To kill or not to kill?

_**Poof!**_

"Yo, my old students."

Damn…eye-witness.

"Hey, old man. You fool people with your 30-year old look when you're actually-"

"Hey! I beg to differ when I'm actually!" – pause- "Oh dear, Sasu-chan. That's a very ghastly…outfit. Are you trying to impress Sakura like that?"

'_--I'm going to kill the dobe and the old man. I'm going to kill the dobe and the old man-'_

Kakashi shook his head and observed him. Sighing, he explained, "Sasuke…Sakura doesn't like purple." He waited until it sunk in and Sasuke drew his blank gaze at his purple sash, "It reminds her of some bad things in her younger teenager years. Sakura told me once she found black and white as an attractive color. So now, she likes her men dressed in white or black or both-"

"Just like Hyuuga and Sai!"

Twitch.

The Uchiha didn't like Hyuuga.

He found the artist tolerable.

But since they both wore the colors _Sakura_ liked on her guys, his tolerance on the fake replica dropped a notch.

"Heh, poor Sasuke-teme, Sakura-chan won't even _look_ at you today!" Naruto snickered, not at all ashamed. "Unless you find the rest of your clothes, Hyuuga is going to get Sakura-chan!" His face was still tanned dark and a large bandage spread on his cheek with small bandages decorating his face and arms. And he knew there were more on his body.

Hmm, not bad, Hyuuga.

But an Uchiha can always do better.

And he wasn't not going to lose one of the chances today just because of an outfit.

_The things he goes through for her._

"Oh my, Sasuke. If you needed help you could've just asked me." The infamous copy-nin grinned, "Ask me anytime if you need knowledge for techniques!"

He pushed an orange book out, humbly displaying its contents.

Ugh.

He was surrounded by idiots.

The Uchiha heir snapped his eyes shut and the Sharingan threateningly glowered at them.

Sasuke calmly took out a kunai.

They gulped.

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Sakura, apprentice of the Hokage and best friend of Naruto Uzumaki and Ino Yamanaka.

Currently single and one of Konoha's beautiful ladies.

She walked down the streets, peacefully, smiling at some people who greeted her. It was pretty quiet and she strolled through the mild busy sidewalks of Konoha –

_**Bam!**_

"_DAMMNIT, BASTARD! I JUST WENT TO THE HOSPITAL YESTERDAY!"_

_**Boom!**_

"_NOOOOOOO!! MY PRECIOUS COLLECTION!!"_

--because she was hungry and craved for ramen. She shook her head at the immaturity of those boys. Honestly, can't they just grow up?

She took a vacant seat near the corner, patiently waiting for her order and glanced outside the window.

_**Ring, ring!**_

"Welcome to Ichiraku!"

Her emerald eyes glared once again at the purple sash that wrapped around his waist as he calmly stood beside her table.

"Sakura."

The pink beauty rolled her eyes at his one-word greeting. Nonetheless, she shouldn't act so immature…

But, dammit, she hated purple.

In his hand was a kunai_, ((which she noticed was slightly bloody and had a small shred paper at the edges)),_ and she watched with confused interest as he slashed at the eye-sore sash, letting it crumple to the floor along with the useless black cloth. Her eyes widened.

What was he doing?

With the purple sash gone, the white haori hang loosely from his body, like an open robe and she admits that he had a very nice, toned body (_(better than Neji-san's, she mentally noted.)). _Sasuke then took the kunai and cut the tights at his legs letting his black shorts free and loose that reached to his knee, just like his old black shorts.

She stared.

That was a very sexy improvement.

Black eyes smugly smirked at her reaction.

Sakura coughed and turned away, embarrassed that she was caught staring at Uchiha Sasuke.

He wasn't named a prodigy for nothing.

The last Uchiha occupied the seat in front of her, his eyes still on her.

Her order came and she still had enough courage left to casually talk to him, though her eyes sometimes strayed to his exposed chest at times. She talked about training but was distracted because of him and Sasuke was glad.

He leaned back and heard her small squeak and grinned haughtily in his thoughts.

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A bloodied almost-kunai-filled-in-his-body Naruto sat beside a weeping copy-nin. Both were silent, watching the scene play out in front of them. Sakura was definitely blushing and Sasuke won her attention this day.

"My precious…books…last copy…."

Shikamaru casually strolled in front of them and stopped, bemused at the two.

Naruto glared, "…You'd better pay back for this or I'll tell Ino about the pictures you asked from me."

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Second step: Complete.

Success Rate: Caught, but countered nicely. _(For the rest of the day, she couldn't look at him properly in the eye)_

Progress: A small glitch but is getting there.

(Note to self: Kakashi's book _**MIGHT**_ be proved to be helpful in the future.)

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**How two prodigies (**_Uchiha and Hyuuga - mostly Uchiha_**) deal with jealousy. **

**Third Attempt: Get rid of obstacles. In how Uchiha Sasuke gets rid of the men around Sakura. Target: Lee.**

**Rule # 6:** When a sexy, smart, top ninja and clan prodigy sets his eyes on Sakura**: DO NOT INTERFERE!!**

**P****review:**

**--Naruto's point of view-- **

_My day is gooood!_

_First off:_

_Lee was Hyuuga's and Sasuke-teme's target._

_I was **THANKFULLY** ignored._

_Tenten was glaring at them very, very, very angrily with Lee by her side. She was supporting him with his arm around her shoulder; half standing and half-limped._

_Ooooh._

_I heard Sakura-chan gasp._

_Double Oooooh._

_"Lee! Oh my, let me check on him, Tenten!"_

_The bull with horns nodded as Sakura quickly rushed towards the duo._

_I smiled when Hyuuga and Sasuke-bastard winced. Heh, don't like it when Sakura-chan touches (not that way!) other men..._

**Uhh, yeah! It's gonna center on Sasuke's slow, but getting there, progress but there's a certain obstacle in the way, provided by Naruto as per revenge on Uchiha and Hyuuga from the last chapter and this chapter (from Sasuke). I'm gonna split it into two parts, if it gets too long. Oh yeah, the Kazekage is also involved. XD Well, if you want another plot, don't hesitate to tell me! **


	3. Naruto's Interference Part 1

**Disclaimer**: Naruto rightly belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

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**Chapter 3 – Naruto's interference Part 1**

Killing two birds with one stone.

**Rule # 6** – When sexy, smart, elite shinobi and clan prodigy sets his eyes on Sakura: **DO NOT INTERFERE!!**

Third Attempt: In how Uchiha Sasuke gets rid of men around Sakura _(Set up by Naruto as per revenge.)_

**Target**: Lee

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- **Naruto** -

Want to know my genius plan? Well?! So after my beautiful face was temporarily scarred _((Fuck Hyuuga, he's just jealous he doesn't have normal eyes!))_ but I still managed to make the ladies drop at the sight of me_ ((I had to carry Hinata-chan to the hospital)) _and even smell awesome _((Animal-lover hasn't bathed in days because his afraid of Neji finding out about Hinata.)) _My body may be badly scarred, but Sakura-chan is coming and that's when it'll begin! My plan! Okay, okay, I'll tell you all.

It started just three days ago…

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**Two days ago - Naruto - **

'_Damn Sasuke-teme!!'_

"_Oi, Naruto. Are you planning against Sasuke?"_

_I looked at my right where Kakashi-sensei sat, staring at the remaining bits of paper on the ground and poking the ashes. "Kakashi-sensei?"_

"_Count me in."_

_We are so freaking dead if he finds out._

_-_

_Ramen, ramen, ramen! Chicken flavored or barb-- Is that Gaara?_

"_Gaara, what're you doing here?!"_

_He slowly turned around and gave me a nod. Hmph, just like Sasuke-teme. I sat on the stool next to him and ordered my usual. I raised my brow, isn't Gaara the Kazekage? "Any business in Konoha, Gaara?"_

_**Nod**__. _

"_Ah, talking with Tsu-"_

"_Naruto!"_

_Ah, sweet Sakura-chan!! Oh, so she changed her clothes?_

_..._

_That damn shorts should be illegal!_

_So I get its summer and all, but Sakura-chan WHY!? She wasn't wearing her skirt anymore, just her black cycling shorts and another red spaghetti strap! Her hair is too short to cover her neckline and huge bust-_

_**Bam!**_

"_Naruto, where were your eyes going?"_

"_Sorry, Sakura-chan."_

"_I swear next time I'll - - Gaara? Ah! Sorry, Kazekage-sama-!"_

"_That's alright, Sakura."_

_My mouth dropped. Gaara called Sakura-chan…Sakura?!_

"_You may just call me Gaara."_

_HEY!! Where are his eyes going? Hmm, I'm not the only one who noticed…Oi, Gaara; _my eyes didn't go that low_!! If he's going to make a move then…he must get past a bucket of Konoha men _((he'll probably swat them away with his sand.)),_ Hyuuga _((I know Gaara hates long hair because his hair will never grow vertically…))_, Sasuke-teme _((He can't sleep at night so he probably had enough of the dark))_ and then…ME!_

"_Ah, if you say so, Gaara-sama."_

_She took a seat next to me and Gaara finally broke his gaze away._

_Heh. This is good blackmail._

_Now that I think about it, Gaara is the like the male version of Sakura, except less vocal. Violent, yes._

_Blah, blah, blah, blah – _Gaara subtly staring at Sakura-chan's thighs_ – blah, blah, blah, blah – _Sakura-chan hitting me when I did the same, not so subtly_ – blah, blah, blah, blah – _Fuzzy brows is here with the ass-kicking brunette – _blah, blah…PLAN!! YES! _

_I remember how devoted Fuzzy brows were to Sakura. The same reason Tenten went all out in a spar match against Sakura. Lucky, Hyuuga was there to stop her. Hehe, another reason why his Konoha band is around his forehead because it's not only to cover his clan's mark, but also Tenten's permanent bitch slap mark when she miscalculated their height._

_Poor Hyuuga._

_But alas, my plan is formulated!!_

_-_

**Two days ago – Normal - **

Sasuke casually walked down the streets of Konoha.

Hn. It was pretty hot nowadays.

But he was used to the heat and didn't bother to change his attire. It was exactly the same outfit he wore when he went up against Gaara in the Chuunin exams; his over-sized collar, black shirt and black shorts. Except he didn't have his bindings; no, the Sharingan wielder would actually _need_ it for tomorrow.

So who cares if it attracted the heat.

The Uchiha remembered just two days ago after wearing his improved version of the ludicrous outfit, which he burned afterwards. He wore black and white. Sakura couldn't look at him the whole day lest she be drawn to his exposed muscles. Heh. But it wasn't enough. All Uchiha's are selfish.

Sakura still hadn't treated him the way she used to. Sure, she'd talk him about anything and ask about how he was doing and even occasionally tug on his hand to social events. He didn't mind the physical contact. She didn't blush as much. Nor did she maintain eye-contact for long. It was as if she oblivious now.

Frown.

Sakura would always remain eye-contact with people while they talked because it was polite. The pink-haired kunoichi would look at him at the beginning of the conversation then her gaze would stray away. His dark eyes caught a flash of pink and blonde on the training grounds and slowly made his way there, a hint of red swirling in his eyes when he found Sakura tending a broken body he identified as Naruto.

The Kyuubi vessel grinned cheekily

_-That's right, Sasuke-bastard. Her hands touching me! Ohohohoho!-_

He knew he would've been burned had Sakura left. Sasuke would make sure he was.

The Uchiha clan was very expressive in their anger when another man touches his spouse.

Hmph.

But she didn't leave. And her hands willingly aided Naruto.

_-_

_Take that!_

_Dobe…you're asking me to kill you._

_-_

"Oh, Sasuke-kun." Her eyes quickly went back onto Naruto's body. She fidgeted and finally sat still on her knees again when she felt his heavy gaze on her. Sakura bit her lip, wondering if she shouldn't have worn the shorts that rode up on her thigh. She noted distantly that Sasuke had been very tolerant of her presence for the last few weeks. He didn't even mind that she was holding his hand every time he remained motionless when she called him over. Maybe she was coming down with fever.

– _There she goes again –_

"Naruto had some really bad injuries for the past few days…" Sakura trailed off, meeting his stare of a bit before bowing her head back down to Naruto's exposed stomach. This time, he noticed, that she didn't blush. She was purely concentrated in her healing.

– _But_ _she still wasn't supposed to look at another man's body except his_ –

"…and now he came for my help. Can you believe it? He didn't even go to the hospital! Idiot, you should've come to me earlier!"

Nod.

Actually, he wasn't even listening.

He noticed that she changed her attire. When did she ever own such _((a long, body-fitting, tight))_ piece of clothing? He frowned, disliking the fact that she walked around in such clothing for the two days he didn't see her. Sakura had gone on a short-mission while he was busy threatening Naruto _((who was hung the same exact place where Akamaru previously was))_ on the topic of his clothes which were hidden away to the other side of the village.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, Sakura-chan?"

_**Snap**_

Sasuke broke a branch he leaned against.

_What. The. Fuck._

-

-

-

**Reminder**: Do not attempt to joke with an innuendo in front of Sakura while Sasuke is also present. Ever.

-

-

-

The medic ignored his playful jab, unaware of the sudden angry flare of chakra a few feet from her emitting from her silent teammate.

_-_

_You wouldn't dare hurt me, bastard! What would Sakura-chan say?_

_He shouldn't have even opened his mouth to the future Uchiha mistress. _

_-_

Cerulean eyes said everything in mischief, taunting the other shinobi. He could clearly see the inner seething turmoil going on beneath his emotionless façade.

_-And You Can't. Do. A. Thing. About. It!!-_

Sakura suddenly looked up, away from both men to look across the field. Her small hands retreated and she stood, dusting away grass on her knees and shorts, for which Sasuke noticed that it was the same length from last time, while he was busy glaring at the blond. "Oh, is that Neji-san? Excuse me for a bit, he told me he needed tell me something. Sasuke, Naruto, behave," she warned before turning away, slightly rushing.

_-Oho- What?! No, no, no, no, no!! Sakura-chan! Don't leave me with this maniacal bastard!!-  
_

He slowly rotated his head to the side and the disapproving glare as the pink-haired kunoichi walked away before pushing himself of the tree and the face of the Uchiha approaching him.

Smirk.

Uchiha's weren't so forgiving.

Naruto frantically looked up at his only source of defense.

_-_

_The squirrel or Sasuke-bastard? Squirrel or Sasuke-bastard? Squirrel or Sa-_

_Damn it, I choose you, SQUIRREL!!!_

_-  
_

The blonde quickly puckered his lips, in what he called a 'squirrel's call' but the squirrel merely looked at him, recognizing the human as the one who stole flowers from his tree. The animal sniffed away. Naruto continued his weird animal call…-

"Squeeeeeeeeeee-EEP!"

- until a snake bit his lip.

Dammit, where'd that come from!?

But the Uchiha casually walked away, letting the snake that he found on a tree handle the boy. Hn. - _Best friend or not, never act smugly in front of him, who's girl, Sakura, was touching you._ - He'd rather stop Sakura from going to Hyuuga than beating the crap out of Naruto. Because the Uchiha knew he'd always have a chance at attempting bodily harm on him and it'd be too obvious to Sakura of who hurt him.

…_But…he wouldn't have the chance of winning Sakura's affection as long as other men get in the way…_

Naruto watched anxiously when the snake slowly coiled around his body; his panting ragged. He stilled when the snake came face to face.

_This snake is going to RAPE ME!!_

He screamed hysterically when the snake wagged its eyes suggestively.

"SCREW YOU, UCHI--EEEK!!!!"

-

-

-

Sakura smiled when Neji turned around and nodded in acknowledgment. "Hey, Neji-san. I was about to look for you after healing Naruto." She didn't bother to turn and just motioned at her back where the blond laid. The prodigy raised one brow when he saw Naruto wrestling with a snake. "Anyways, you had something to tell me?"

He mentally shook his head, "Ah. I apologize for leaving you last time."

"That's alright. How's Hinata?"

-

_Naruto attempted to roll around, squishing the snake with his weight until the snake hissed and uncoiled around him. "Hey! That was all bone and muscle!! Something you don't have!!"_

-

"Hinata-sama is doing well."

"That's good; I haven't seen her for a while. Ino suggested that the girls should go to this club she found." He jerked. "But I'm still in the process of convincing her not to."

"Ah."

-

"_DAMN YOU, SNAKE! YOU AND SQUIRREL CAN'T UNITE AGAINST MEEE!"_

-

"Sakura, would you like to-"

"Hyuuga."

His lips thinned. "Uchiha."

Sakura tilted her body to the side to see the view of Sasuke standing behind Neji. Did he really have to interfere with their conversation? Her brows furrowed.

"What is it, Uchiha?"

-

"_MWAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM __**ACORNS**__?!"_

-

_Back off, Uchiha._

_Not likely, Hyuuga._

-

"…the Hokage is asking for you."

Neji reluctantly turned his attentions to the other prodigy; he knew he shouldn't believe the other man. "Is that so?"

"Hn."

Sakura tugged at her top, suddenly finding the temperature heat up. She wondered idly that it was summer. The chance of her getting a fever was rising. The medic absently rubbed her arm.

-

"_OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!! THAT'S A WASTE OF FO- oh, this tastes pretty good. Mm. These kinda tastes like – Coward! You don't steal back what you just threw!"_

_-_

"Damn you, Uchiha! You said Hyuuga will be here!!"

Sakura clutched onto a pole when the ground rumbled and looked up at the Hokage's tower. One side of Sasuke's mouth lifted in triumph. The other clansman gritted his teeth, glaring menacingly at the corner of his eye as the Uchiha walked calmly around him. "I guess I'd better go, then."

Nod. "Okay, Neji-san. I'll see you around, then." She turned to the quiet shinobi. "Well, Sasuke-kun, since you made my current companion go away, would you mind staying with me for a while?" Sakura smiled, but for some reason, the Uchiha could hear some kind of implication.

_I won't be going anywhere without you, Sakura._

Things were going his way. The Uchiha way. He just got rid of Hyuuga verbally, that's a small obstacle out of the way. He wouldn't hesitate to physically get rid of the men around her once she was out of hearing range. The blond would deserve a beating later on for acting smug in front of him. Momentarily, while Naruto was probably in battle with two animals, he'd be spending time with Sakura. His Sakura. Heh, one step closer-

"Oh, my youthful Sakura! 'Tis is faith that brought upon us for I, Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast, to see you here!"

_**Wince**_.

-

"_I CALL FOR TRUCE!"_

_Both animals looked suspiciously at him before the squirrel dropped his precious acorns and the snake stayed atop on the tree. The human weighed more than he looked…_

"_You see those people? Yes, my friends and see that boy with fuzzy brows? My plan is going according to plan! Wait, that didn't sound right…"_

-

"Sakura!"

"Yes …Lee-san?"

"Would you grace your lovely presence with me tomorrow afternoon?"

This shinobi had the nerve to say that in front of an Uchiha? Uchiha Sasuke? Lee's fate was sealed the moment Sakura answered, "Sure."

He would just have to physically warn him away from Sakura.

Never go after an Uchiha's possession.

-

-

-

-

**Rule # 6** – When sexy, smart, dangerous shinobi and clan prodigy sets his eyes on Sakura: **DO NOT INTERFERE!!**

**Target**: Lee

**Suspect**: Naruto

-

-

-

-

**- Present - Normal - **

"Hyuuga Neji! Uchiha Sasuke!"

There is only one threatening voice _((aside from Sakura-chan and Tsunade-baa-chan-sama)), _that was able to make it sound like a killer on the loose.

The bastard raised a brow.

Hyuuga slightly averted his eyes to the side.

For some reason, Gaara moved in front of Sakura, who was startled at the voice, whatever powerful energy of kill _she_ emitted; he stood close to protect her just in case. "Gaara-sama? Anything wrong?" She questionably looked at the red-haired while he shook his head and crossed his arms in defiance. He was close enough to inhale her sweet scent around him and his muscles relaxed instantly.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Hyuuga activated his Byakugan.

"_Hyuuga, Uchiha!"_

_**Stomp!**_

And their attention was back on a certain angry brunette holding bloody fuzz- Rock Lee.

_'Ouch…he got it bad! I didn't think Tenten would let them off the hook easy…she's very protective of him. When I called him fuzzy brows in her presence, ((I swear the woman has dog ears!)), she lashed out and literally almost stuck all her weapons in my tenders!' _Naruto though, placing himself at the opposite end of the office.

"_Who did this to him?!"  
_

Or… she might kill them instead.

-

**- Yesterday – Naruto - **

_My day was epic!  
_

_Lee was Sasuke-teme's target._

_I was ignored. Yes!_

_I still have my honor, dignity and pride. And revenge was always a fun hobby on Sasuke-bastard! He will not turn to me, because they will be busy running away from the crazy brunette. Oh, I wonder when Sakura-chan's coming back. She'll be alone wondering where Lee went and why there's blood, holes in the ground and trees chopped down? I was surprised when Hyuuga showed up in the scene and heading where Sasuke-teme took Lee._

_-_

_-_

Back onto the present: Crazy brunette was glaring at them very, very angrily with Lee by her side. She was supporting him with his arm around her shoulder; half standing and half-limping. Sakura gasped.

"Lee! Let me check on him, Tenten!" The bull with horns nodded as Sakura quickly rushed towards the duo. Naruto smiled when the two clansmen winced. Sakura had moved to the side around Gaara when she saw Lee. Sasuke didn't like the attention she's getting today and apparently Hyuuga agreed.

"Where have you been? Who hurt you, Lee?" _(Sasuke secretly smirked proudly at this)_

"Sakura, I'll tell you later. Can you help me bring Lee to the hospital?"

Konoha is about to lose the only Uchiha left and ANBU captain Hyuuga.

-

-

-

-

Kakashi stood on the ledge of a tree near the Hokage's tower. He silently congratulated the blonde on the success of two girls, Tenten and Sakura, would later on beat the crap out of two clan prodigies, Hyuuga and Uchiha. But if they managed to divert Sakura's attention away from the situation, then consider them lucky. And he just _knew_ that they would. Sasuke wouldn't want to lessen Sakura's affection; he was trying to win it. Too bad, he wanted to record in history the defeat two of Konoha's strongest men.

The copy-nin wondered what the Hyuuga's motive was. Although it was obvious, he needed to know if Sakura knew two men courting her…discreetly. He clutched his orange book protectively when a pair of Sharingan eyes shot a forebodingly glare towards the trees before slowly walking towards the back of an unsuspecting, giggling Naruto.

'Oh, Naruto. It was nice knowing you.'

Kakashi leaped out of the trees and leisurely made his way to the Yamanaka's flower shop, deciding which type of flowers he should bring to the hospital.

* * *

Third step: Incomplete.

Success Rate: Stuck in third attempt. _(Hn, he'll make sure it was tortuous))_

Progress: Delayed.

(Note to self: Make Lee immovable for the next few days just as a warning if Haruno Sakura was ever asked out whether the Uchiha's presence was there or not.)

* * *

**Naruto's Interference Part 1 end**

Hmm, seems confusing but I'm not going to put Naruto's Interference Part II – Revealed (what happened in Sakura's outing with Lee) next chapter, I'll put it later on. The number of rules will change because Naruto's Interference Part II – Revealed also has rules in the flashback so yeah. Confused? I think I am too.

**Fourth Attempt: Revealing the Body package. ****Rule 8 – Looking at the Uchiha's (future) wife ****suggestively**** would result in the use of Mangekyou Sharingan. **

"_Why do I have a feeling we'll be seeing a red sky instead of the beautiful blue?" _-Kakashi.


End file.
